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December 2016

Abstaining for 21 Days: A Detox Diet Food Diary Days 5, 6, & 7

Phoebe-250The Last Day of Diet Meal Delivery for the Week: Day 5
11:09 a.m. I’m at work. Katrina walks in from a fashion preview—how does she always manage to look feminine, exotic, and funky???—takes one look at my 9:00 a.m. juice bottle, dregs at the bottom, streaks of juice still clinging to the inside, and says: “This looks like barbeque sauce.” What does she know?! Uh oh, I’m starting to sound like a convert. It’s all rush, no play this morning. Racing home to take a conference call from there mid-afternoon. About to pack up, Melissa offers a ride—she’s headed my way for a lunch date. Grab very-sick-and-should-have-stayed-home-from-work Daniela and make her leave with me to go get into bed. She lives 2 blocks from me, so Melissa takes us both.

Midday Treats Not on My Healthy Eating Plan—Diet Coke & a Kiss from Phoebe
12:something or other. Stop off at parents (they live in my building) to steal a kiss from 1-year-old niece, Phoebe, who’s over for the afternoon. Kiss turns into coming to Aunt Nancy’s to see the puppy, Sadie. Mindy (my sister-in-law, Phoebe’s mother) calls them soul mates. They are ridiculously cute together. While wrangling puppy and baby, booting up laptop, answering call from the office, and nuking lunch—can’t wait, squash soup! I eat that in real life! Again, the look from my mother. Ignore. Final stories, hunt down phone code for conference call, respond to emails, grab soup and Diet Coke. So far, I have not relinquished my profound desire for coffee or Diet Coke. I am, however, only having 1 can a day. There’s so much drinking on the Joulebody diet cleanse—juices and soups. I mean, how much can 1 person drink? So, 2 cans per day (ok, sometimes 3) is definitely down to 1.

Detox Diet Food Journal Confession
4:47 confession: I am obviously schedule-impaired. I ate my 12:00 soup while on my 2:00 conference call, child arrives from school—she of the Fios/America’s Next Top Model meltdown. Must say her aversion to learning the new TV system is quite the boon—already a big reader, she’s read and then read more in the time she might have watched TV. Pack kids for weekend with ex, start 3:00 p.m. juice at 3:00 p.m. in some time zone, unfortunately just not the one I live in.

Kids both with ex, Sadie and I settle in for a night of fetch with her favorite little red ball, while I’m stationed in front of my laptop, writing this, editing, answer worried call from Howard—apparently Jamie has been calling and texting all week and I’ve been M.I.A. Obviously you haven’t been reading my blog, I respond, or you would know my radio silence was caused by my Fios disaster. Sorry sorry sorry. Feel terrible she worried, terrible I didn’t get back to her . . . sigh. I can’t keep up with my life. I spend my days apologizing.

Dinner was at 10:00 p.m. I know, I know. There is no 10:00 p.m. meal. I’ve learned to be flexible, this detox diet is going to have roll with me on that one, I guess. Skip the brownie—I’m actually too full, and stick with my cleansing tea instead. My treat will come in handy over the weekend, when I fly solo—no cleansing juices or diet meals from Joulebody. Wonder if Yvette has a support hotline—I’m starting to feel panicky. Bed sounds like a solution—and it’s 2:06 a.m. So it’s hardly a stretch to say I should call it a day.

Going Cold Turkey on the Delivered Detox Diet Meals—Days 6 & 7
Saturday and Sunday are a blur of work, phone calls, manicure with my mom, and a hot date with my best boyfriend Johanna and her husband Scott, who usually introduces me as his second wife. Poor guy is such a good sport—2 wives obsessed with shoes and chocolate. It’s not easy being him. I actually left the house on a Saturday night (or any night, since I work until 2:00 a.m., 7 days a week, writing and editing). We were seeing True Grit—Coen brothers plus Jeff Bridges? I’m in.

When Changing Eating Habits Means Eating the Same Thing
Ate identically both days—for me, diet meals are goal-oriented, not gourmet experiences. Function trumps form every time. So, for breakfast both days, I had a bowl of my kids’ organic whole-grain honey-nut cereal with skim milk—had to skip the nonfat yogurt that goes with. I don’t do yogurt, or pudding, custard, mousse, etc. Nothing creamy, gooey, or foamy. It’s a texture thing. And thus far, my desire—NEED—for coffee has not left me. Yvette, Joulebody’s founder and all-around superwoman, said to just go with it. Have it if I wanted, but at some point she expected I wouldn’t. Still waiting . . .

My Daily Meal Plan Doubles to Cover Two
On the way back from the manicure on Saturday, stopped at Columbus Deli—my alternate meal source!—and got a raw-vegetable salad with sunflower seeds and raisins, per the detox diet meal suggestion. Chopped, no dressing, and I’m out the door for $6.75. Given the portions Yvette had been doling out all week, I knew I could split the salad and have lunch for both days. Even cheaper. The salad? Delish . . . for a salad. If left to my own devices, I’d rather eat a cheeseburger and fries.

Date Night Delays My Diet Meal
Edited stories all afternoon, snacked on the most delicious orange cherry tomatoes I’d bought at Fairway, had some detox tea, and then hopped in the shower before heading out to the movies. UGH!!! I forgot about dinner and I’m going to be late. Oh well. Dinner sacrificed temporarily in the name of “date” night. I’ll deal with dinner after the movie.

Movie over, typical wonderful Coen brothers out-there, eccentric vision. Love. Home, got sucked into the black hole that is my laptop. Started editing and by the time I looked up, it was too late to think about, deal with, or otherwise entertain the notion of dinner. Bed.

Sunday Is Day 7 of My Weekly Meal Plan Detox Diet
Sunday was more of the same—cereal, working, blah blah blah . . . Sadie drove me to distraction barking at my bedroom door a good part of the day. Huh??? I opened the door several times so she could confirm there were, in fact, no dangerous intruders, vermin, or otherwise unwelcome visitors to the apartment. Didn’t help. The other half of yesterday is a blur of articles, emails, phone calls, and the Oscars playing in the background, although I must confess, I didn’t look up too often from the articles I was working on, and the volume was so low it might as well have been on mute. Honestly, I’m not all that interested in hearing a bunch of people I don’t know thank a lot of other people I don’t know. I just want to see the pretty clothes.

Delivered Detox Diet Meals: Ready for Week 2 of My Food Diary
The nice delivery man had stopped by earlier in the evening with my Joulebody diet meals for the week. My fridge and freezer nicely stocked with my detox cleanse needs, I was at peace. Unsweetened sweet dreams awaited, knowing that in the morning, I could just pop the top on breakfast and hit my day running.—Nancy Rotenier

Related Links
Did You Miss the Beginning? Detox Diet Food Diary Day 0
How Did the First Day on the Diet Cleanse Go? Day 1
Does Day 2 of My Detox Diet Live Up to Yvette’s Dire Prediction?
Disaster Strikes—But It’s Not What You Think: Detox Diet Diary Day 3
• Crying, Coffee & Customer Service: Detox Diet Food Diary Day 4

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