Top 7 Things You Should NEVER Give a Woman for Valentine’s Day
By Nancy Rotenier
The pressure is on, fellas. Valentine’s Day. How seriously does the fairer sex take Valentine’s Day? It’s a religious holiday—think Barney’s Warehouse Sale. In guy terms, it’s the Super Bowl. Since our first crushes, we’ve been Disney-ed into believing in happily-ever-after, and we’re going to leave our rose-colored, heart-shaped glasses permanently in place, thank you very much. Read the bad boyfriend warning label: Valentine’s Day is our fairy tale, we play the fair maiden. You better let your inner Prince Charming loose—or you’re going to have one very pouty princess on your hands.
To avoid Valentine’s Day Post Traumatic Relationship Disorder, give good gift. It’s pretty simple. If we spend hours getting dolled up—slinky red dresses, Valentine’s Day smokey eye makeup, perfect red lips, put in some time picking our gift. Here, the top 7 things you should NEVER give a woman for Valentine’s Day—and plenty of tips to give good gift.
And girls, it’s time to accidentally forward this to your shopping-impaired boy or your best friends’ significant others. That can be your BFF gift to her!
Top 7 Good Gifts/Bad Gifts That Make or Break Your Boyfriend Status
• Chocolate Gifts for Valentine’s Day
Bad Gift: Were you not paying attention the 1,452 times we asked you if our butt looks fat in these jeans? Clue in! We are ALWAYS on a diet. We want something we can wear on our ring finger, not on our hips!
Good Gift: We will, however, make an exception if you make a chocolate Valentine’s Day treat by hand. Chocolate truffles are easy to make, require few ingredients, no kitchen equipment, and come with a guaranteed “oooh, you made something just for me?” The points you score? You can’t count that high.
• A Gift for WHOM? Valentine’s Day Lingerie
Bad Gift: Hellooo. Anybody home?! Who exactly is getting the gift here? Not to mention that once we put it on, we really don’t get to wear it very long. Not that we’re complaining . . . rest assured, we know what to wear on a date, and we know what to wear under it. But when you give us a romantic Valentine’s Day gift, we want to feel like you know us.
Good Gift: Go for a personalized or monogrammed Valentine’s Day gift that says you didn’t grab any last-minute lingerie. From pendant necklaces to pillows with our initials, it’s easy to have something made just for us.
• Anything That Plugs in for a Valentine’s Day Gift
Bad Gift: The scary thing is, we just might have to explain this to you. Valentine’s Day gifts should be personal, not practical. Practical, as in vacuum cleaner, hair dryer, coffee maker. Get us what we want, not what we need! If you treat “I need a dustbuster” and “I need new shoes” equally, you don’t deserve to date us.
Good Gift: The best Valentine’s Day gifts are unique, indulgent, unexpected, something we wouldn’t necessarily buy for ourselves. Think keychain with a pink leather heart, a sexy necklace, even a Polaroid camera to capture our big smiles when you surprise us with other gifts throughout the year.
• A Perfume Gift for Valentine’s Day
Bad Gift: We know that perfume is sexy, that’s why we wear it. We know that scent triggers memory, that’s why you’ll go to the perfume counter, test different fragrances, and think the one that evokes familiar feelings of love and happiness is perfect. It’s not. It’s your mother’s. And smelling like your mother isn’t sexy.
Good Gift: We would love a sensual scent for Valentine’s Day—as long as it reflects who we are. Girlie girls will go for fresh or floral, classic sophisticates will opt for something subtle and balanced, rocker chicks go bold. Not sure which way your girl swings? Answer 5 quick questions on our perfume personality quiz, and you’ll know if she’s floral, fresh, classic, bold, or sweet. And you’ll get a signature scent suggestion to match her perfume personality.
• Valentine’s Day Bouquet of Flowers
Bad Gift: Flowers can easily say, “He loves me not” when they feel cliché, last-minute, impersonal, or overpriced. We know it’s supposed to be the thought that counts, but when it’s no thought, those dozen red roses just die on the vine.
Good Gift: We’re up for the red theme to get in the Valentine’s Day mood. But instead of giving us some long stems, how about we show you ours? We want to be your Valentine. So, get us a little red dress for Valentine’s Day, and we’ll look like your Valentine, too.
• Regifted Anything for Valentine’s Day
Bad Gift: It’s over. Need we say more? In case you need this spelled out, there is no eco-friendly, budget-conscious, time-saving excuse on the planet that will redeem you for this Valentine’s Day gift gaff! And don’t think we won’t notice that it’s the scarf you forgot to give to your mother or the necklace your ex-girlfriend never wore—or did.
Good Gift: It is a truth universally acknowledged that any man in possession of a car must be in want of directions—BUT HE WON’T ASK! Get over yourselves when it comes to Valentine’s Day gifts. You don’t score points going it alone and getting us the wrong gift. Celebrity stylist Stacey Mayesh has fab finds for Valentine’s Day, and you can be sure if she wants it, so do we.
• On Valentine’s Day, Sale Is a Four-Letter Word
Bad Gift: Ordinarily, there are few words that make our hearts sing louder than sale. But if it pops up on the register when we return your A-for-effort Valentine’s Day gift, let’s just say singing is not what our hearts will be doing. You don’t have to spend a lot of money. Just don’t make us feel like you were bargain hunting from the get-go.
Good Gift: Baby, you know the bling’s the thing we’re looking for on Valentine’s Day. Whether it’s THE RING, or a tiny token of your affection, jewelry gets you in good with your girl. Does she wear delicate jewelry? Look for a thin chain with a small pendant on it. Does she like to make a statement with her accessories? Then, go with a cocktail ring.
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